Passing the Wind
by mr. ukki
Summary: A collection of one-shots relating how certain shinobi would react under situations involving something everyone experiences, passing the wind. I hope you’ll be entertained!


**Chapter 1 – Duty

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_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto._

_A/N: I hope I don't offend anybody, because this is about that F-word – fart. It's embarrassing, yeah, but normal. And let us admit it's quite funny once we look back on our own experiences. I hope I put a smile on that face!_

Somewhere in the background, they knew the Godaime was evaluating their last mission. They could hear her tapping the map on her big desk and slamming her fist whenever she talked about their target and how happy she was that he was dead. They wanted to listen to her, of course, but in their current state, they couldn't help but give in to what their bodies demanded, release.

_Psshhht… Psshhht… Pssshht…_

"Hachoo!" This started round four of what they had been doing since they entered this office. Sakura brought out her handkerchief to wipe her nose and mouth. A confused look was plastered on her face as she looked at Shizune-sempai, then at her Tsunade-shishou.

_Pssshht… Pssshhht… Pssshhhhttt…_

"Hachoo!" Naruto was next. This earned him a slap on the back of the head from Sakura because he had some of his spit on her skirt, legs, and sandals. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand as one of his blond brows lifted while he looked sideways at Sai. He nearly chuckled at how the poor guy looked, desperately trying to sniff the sneeze away.

_Psshhhtt… Pssshhht…_

Sai made an attempt to remain calm, although it was obvious how his eyebrows were slightly closer to each other. His nose was red now. He mustn't sneeze again. He already did it twice. He mustn't disturb the Hokage again. And then … he gave up. "Achoo!" His face was, well, the same as ever after that. He was in front of the Godaime, after all. Listen to the Hokage, he said to himself again.

_Pssshhhtt… Psshhht… Psshhht…_

The three young members of Team Kakashi looked at their captain waiting for his turn that should have come three rounds ago. Kakashi eyes crinkled at his teammates' questioning faces as he pointed to his mask. 'Oh… riiiight…' their eyes seemed to say. A shout directed at them and a bang at the desk signaled the last straw for the Godaime.

"I said listen to me! What are you doing? I'm the one talking here so stop looking at Kakashi!"

_Pssshhhtt… Psshhht… _

"AACCHHOOO!" The three chorused.

They looked at one another, waiting for someone to voice out a question they had been dying to ask. They looked at Kakashi and asked their _leader_ to speak for the team. 'It's your problem, not mine,' his shrug told them. They had another reason to try and remove the darn mask, preferably now, so it'll be his problem, too.

"Obaa-chan, … Ouch… Okay! Okay! Hokage-sama, why is Shizune-san doing that? Don't you think it's too much?"

"Hokage-sama, I read a book about aromatherapy the other day. If you need my services, I'll do my best to help you."

"No! Naruto, shut up. Sai, thanks for the offer, but I can still handle stress well, even without therapy. Now where were we on the--?"

"Wait. Shishou, please. The room smells pleasant enough." Trust her apprentice to bring the subject back to what she was trying to avoid.

"What's that sme--." Trust their captain to get to the bottom of things.

"SHIZUNE!" Tsunade glared straight at Kakashi. The moment he entered the room, she ordered Shizune to keep spraying the stupid perfume at shorter time intervals. And her assistant forgot! Inner Tsunade growled.

"H-HAI!"

_Psshhhtt… Psshhhtt… Psshhhtt… _

"HAACCHHOOO!"

"Damn it!" The Hokage rubbed her forehead while sighing. "All right. Just go. I'll just meet you later. Go go… shoo shoo."

Team Kakashi were more than happy to get out of the Hokage's office.

"Hatake," Kakashi was pulled hard from the back of his vest, "take these." Tsunade gave him several cartons of milk.

"Hokage-sama, you are too kind. I, however don't need them so I'd rather not take them."

"NO! Take the damn boxes and drink the damn milk! All of it! I know you know I've had my fair share already so kindly help your Hokage, will ya?"

The boxes of milk were shoved in his arms and the door was slammed to his face. Not long after that, Shizune, who was carrying the same things he was, was pushed through the door as well.

"The Hokage sure is generous today, isn't she?"

"She asked me to give these to anyone I see."

"What's with the milk anyway?"

"Well, let's just say her sake and several cartons of milk learned the substitution jutsu."

That explained Shizune's new duty and the reason behind it.


End file.
